A Summer Lifestyle Session | Mattern Family
Sarah happened into my life on a spur of good luck 8 years ago. I don’t talk much about my past here but today I’m opening up just a bit to tell you the story of this shoot from my perspective.
It was before my, now, husband Marc and her, now, husband Jeremy. It was before I owned my first iPhone and even before I bought my first car with my own money.
I met her in a job interview.
It was the most intimidating job interview I had ever had but it was also the most important to me. I wanted this position….bad. I was newly divorced and fighting to keep my head above water personally. I desperately wanted that set schedule and regular drive so that I could be more predictable for my two boys as they grew up, especially after such a traumatic previous year.
I was seated in front of a panel to include Dr. F, the head psychiatrist; Sarah, the clinical director at the time; and my would-be supervisor, Joelle. I’ll never forget the crushing weight of pressure as I told my story to these super intelligent individuals, shifting my gaze from one person to the next as they calmly took in my words and affect. I knew the position was in high demand and I honestly didn’t have a ton of experience. All I could do was to earnestly open my heart to them and tell my story.
I was incredibly lucky that they, as a rule, hear hearts and smarts rather than particular life circumstances in that office. They not only heard my heart but opened theirs to me as well. When I earned the coveted spot on the team, it was like being welcomed into the family. The doctors ate lunch with the front desk staff and everyone came to the meetings to sit, round-table-style, where everyone’s opinions mattered and everyone deserved to learn and have their voice heard. Sarah was a big part in the development of this hard to find office environment. It was this family-style culture that I have structured my business around and tap into when I use the phrase “if you’re here, you’re family.”
It was a family there.
Sarah seemed to take an interest in me and started meeting with me regularly to help bring me along professionally. We eventually became friends. I remember wondering why she wasted her time on me. In my eyes, she as like the perfect person. She was smart, successful, well-liked by everyone, funny, fun, easy to be around, and had a set of firm values and beliefs that I secretly wished I had. Even children adored her. I wondered why in the world she would waster her time on me. I was divorced with two kids, non-religious and trying to scrape by to support two kids alone but who always found enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes to have on hand. Why would someone like her befriend me?!?! “I’m a screw up,” I would think. Plus, she already had tons of close friends. But she would continue to ask me to have dinner and get to know me. She would listen to me complain about my ex and circumstances and nonsense in general. And she would, in turn, be honest about her wishes and desires in her life. I was always honored to be someone she would choose to confide in.
I had no idea what she saw in me.
It didn’t make sense. But like family, she never gave up on me. She kept talking me through things and always focusing on my positive attributes which she somehow saw and reminded me of through the layers of “complicated.” Always. I can’t count how many times I would tell her I quit smoking to inevitably pick it back up, shamefaced to tell her. She would never bat an eye and continued being my friend. It was recently that I told her, “Oh yeah! Did I tell you I quit smoking like 3 years ago?!?!” I HAD told her…I just couldn’t help feeling so proud to tell her again. She would simply state, “I always knew you would.”
Even though she put so many hours into grooming me for success in the psychology field, going to bat for me time and time again to help me move forward, when it was time for me to “try this photography thing.” She was there cheering me on. Part of me expected us to slowly lose contact after I left but time has only brought us closer. I saw her get married and she was there when I did. She was one of the first people to hold Finn as a baby and then Rita too. I sat front seat at her baby shower for Gus watching as she opened my gift of my favorite book to read my kids, I Love You, Stinky Face (that she thoughtfully brought along on this shoot). She never once gave up on me and always saw my positives through my “mess.”
She is the best definition of what the word ‘family’ means to me in the flesh and I knew she was going to make the best mom ever.
And, she is.
So, when, after some misfortunes surrounding trying to conceive a second child started weaving into our conversations and I saw the ache in her eyes, I hurt with her. This shouldn’t happen to someone like her….like them, I thought. They should be the couple to have 10 kids and live happily ever after all riding off on white ponies together smiling and laughing with everyone they have helped cheering them on with fanfare and fireworks.
If you know Sarah, you know she likes to just kind of lay big news on the table casually, nodding her head with a, “Yeah soooo….insert big news here” So, in a recent conversation when she started off with, “Yeah so…..” I held my breath “…..we’re going to try to adopt.” Big breath out. I wanted to jump through the zoom call to squeeze her in excitement.
My first thought was, “What a lucky kid!”
She and Jeremy were still in the very early stages of beginning down this road…still packing for the trip if you will. But in listening to her talk, it sounded like a photo shoot would be helpful. Plus, it had been since Gus was a little guy just sitting upright since we did a family session. And, so we did. It was more of a lifestyle session than a typical session with me. Of course, I tried posing them for a family portrait here and there but ultimately, I just let them be…them! And I followed them around with my camera for a few hours. This is the real them. This is the girl who wouldn’t give up on me the same way she will never give up on anyone in her family and any child that is so blessed to be raised by them.
I don’t do this very often…ok, like, ever…. As stated above, I am not religious in the way most people are in this area of the world, but I would like to ask for you all to lift Sarah, Jeremy and Gus up in prayer and wrap them in positivity and hope as they start this journey into the unknown. I know they will appreciate it.
Sarah and Jeremy, I love you guys. Thank you for….everything. There are no real words for how grateful I am for you in my life. I wish you the best of luck in this process and new chapter in your lives. I’ll be here cheering you on. Always. The fireworks are waiting. I hope you love this sample of my favorites from your session yesterday and because I know how hard it is to wait, there are a few surprises in your inbox right now, so go check!
XO - Megan
